In the World

I was struck this morning on this first day of Lent, of how the Divine Office urges us to be active in the world. Even as we "retreat" spiritually through these 40 days. I loved the words from Isaiah calling us to active participation to minister to those around us, "our own". What an amazing promise, that even as we give of ourselves,

"He will give strength to your bones

and you shall be like a watered garden,

like a spring of water

whose waters never run dry."

Never run dry. Oh my. Rebuilding foundations. Such power in these words. Lord, grant me the grace to live them these 40 days.

Then and Now

This is to the mom at Wegman's today. You were having lunch with your four children, all little. You chatted with them. You had to tell the toddler to stop touching her brother's food. You had to promise another slice of pizza. You juggled a baby in your lap. Your oldest boy took the antics off his siblings in stride. 

I saw you and I smiled. I helped you clear your table. I know these days. Heck, I still have three little ones under five years old. 

But I have time. Time that seemed to pass slowly at first. Time marked by stinky diapers and tantrums, and first words and learning how to walk. But now? It flies by me, I can hardly keep up. 

Tomorrow my second child turns eighteen. Eighteen. She is grown up and beautiful and so loved by little sisters and brothers. 

I know you are tired mom. I know today at least two of those darlings were supposed to be in school. I told you it's okay. You'll survive this time. You'll look at your husband much too soon and wonder how it is you have adult children already. I know you said this was it, your limit. I know. It's okay. 

But for today I want you to know this. Your oldest? He is sweet. I could see by his easy smile and how he was ready to chat with me. Those middle cuties, they will be best friends before you know it. And that baby? She is stinking cute. Hold on tight, mom. It will go too fast. I promise.

When Life Hands You Split Peas...Make a Salad!

Yesterday I was tired. Beyond tired. The baby, battling a cold, had given me quite the night. Awake at 2 am and angry that I would not let her nurse AND let her pinch and scratch every inch of my exposed flesh. (Why this soothes her, I will never know.) She cried. A lot. I think I did too.

I was a zombie. Between that, the wonky schedule changes because of the weather and the bitter cold, not my best day. By 4 pm I gave in and took a brief nap. I woke up a wee bit better and went to tackle dinner. I did not want to cook. I had planned a lentil salad, only to realize that those were bags of split peas, NOT lentils, sitting in the pantry. I was still so cranky. I was sure I never wanted to look at another pirece of chicken as long as I lived. As I mucked around in the kitchen making dinner, dirtying one pot and pan after another, I apologized to Sam. His chore is dishes after meals. I must have sounded pathetic. My sweet son told me not to apologize. Of course I was getting things dirty, I was cooking the family's dinner. How was I expected to cook without getting some things dirty. Silly mom, don't apologize. 

Right there, a moment of grace and mercy. Even  with my bad attitude, all day, my son showed me in a moment gratitude and mercy. It lifted me up. 

Dinner was delicious. Did you know you can use split peas like you would lentils, just have to watch the cooking time very carefully so they don't become mushy? Yep. Salad was perfectly tasty.

God is good and so is my son. 

Roots and Shoots

Odd title, yes?

When I was a young mother with 4 kids 6 and under, living Advent intentionally was easy. Yes, you heard me. It was easy. It is so simple to prepare those young innocent hearts. So simple to sit down and read beautiful books. Really. As my family grew, I learned what it means to parents teens and young adults. It is a consuming task. I love it, truly. But then somewhere in that hustle and bustle of "big" kid parenting, my new crop of littles have gotten a bit short changed. Some circumstances have been beyond my control. Three of my children have birthdays between December 17th and 26th. That baby born on the 26th, he is turning five this year and his entrance into the world was not without its own drama.

I wanted more this year for my littles. I wanted to make the time to read and craft. I  wanted to make the time to prepare their hearts like I did for older children, not just hoping they'd tag along and just kind of soak it in. I want to hear little voices lisping the Advent song my now 13 year old loved to sing when she was 4. I want us to come to Christmas Eve having made ample room in our hearts for the Divine Infant.

Slowing down is really hard. It takes effort and sometimes hard choices. I'm digging deep, examining and asking of my older children, what rooted this season for you? I am adding and subtracting, finding what is essential and letting traditions once again flourish in our home.

We have always celebrated St. Nicholas. Nothing more than chocolate coins and few other sweet treats left in shoes. We bake Speculaas. This year I mentioned to Lilly (17 year old) that maybe I should do more, like "everyone" else. She strenuously objected. They loved the way we celebrated, why mess with it, why worry about "everyone". Old tradition, deeply rooted.
 
Last year, the day Ella was born, December 19, my older children directed all their little siblings and set up the Christmas tree so it would be up and ready to welcome us when we came home. It still brings tears to my eyes. A new tradition. Ella's birthday will be our tree trimming day.

We are reading our favorite books and adding new ones. Johnny is learning the Advent song and Mara loves "her" candles. They know the Baby is coming and it gives them joy. Me too.

On This Feast Day

Just a few notes to myself, to capture some moments I want to cherish on one of my favorite feasts...     

Very simple, just chocolate coins and candy cane cups (like a peanut butter cup but with a minty, candy cane filling, yummy) in their shoes. But oh, how it delights them.

Reading The Miracle of St. Nicholas, getting teary, again. Thinking Mara is not paying attention at all, but when we get to the page about the candle, she stops me to point at the Advent wreath and says, "Mama, these are MY candles." Thinking Johnny is not paying attention, but then when we get to the page about the bread, he stops me to ask me, "Is that the bread that becomes Jesus? See, I knew that!" Kay's delight at "knowing all along" that the shoemaker is the priest. The "big" girls not too big to listen intently to a picture book.

Baking speculaas. Because we do it every year.

This year, we'll read a new St. Nicholas book as we wait for cookies to come out of the oven, The Baker's Dozen: A Saint Nicholas Tale.

Joyous Feast dear friends! St. Nicholas the Wonderworker, pray for us!

7 Quick Takes:Waterpark Edition

1. Went to the waterpark with the kids yesterday. Met up with my parents, my sister and cousins. Honestly, I was dreading it just a little, because, you know, waterpark with all the kids, especially 4 yo, 2yo and 7 month old.

2. It was awesome! I had so much fun with my littles. So much fun. Mara floating down the lazy river in her little safety vest was hysterical. She just puts her head back and closes her eyes. I just hold her feet so she doesn't get away from me. Watching Johnny go down the little kid slides over and over again does wonders for the soul.

3. Ella does not like the pool. At all.

4. We were getting ready to leave. I changed Mara, had her all ready in her dry clothes. I firmly admonished her not to go near the water again. Then it rained, like a minute later, like torrential. Like Mara was soaked.

5. If you don't own a proper bathing suit, do not go to the waterpark. No lady, a cami over your bra does not count.

6.At one point, I went to look for my parents. I found them standing near the snack bar, with 6 of their grandchildren, all ages 6 and under, from 3 different families. It was so beautiful! I wish so badly I could have snapped a picture. Even so, I won't forget for a long time.

7. I was tired last night.

Early August: Gathering My Thoughts

Right now~My three littles are playing around me. Earlier I played  a game with just Johnny (4) and Mara (2). John told me it always more fun when I play with them. Honestly, I get so caught up in the business of my big kids lives, I forget to just sit and play with my littles. I love the big span of years I've been blessed to have children. But this "middle" part right now of young adults AND babes and toddlers...its hard. Worth it, so worth it, but hard.

In a little while~I'm out to sign up Kay (9) for dance and pick up big girls from the mall.

This week~Carmen's never-ending soccer. She has joined a travel team. We are very happy about the team. Its a great fit, great families. We are very excited to see her get to play at a more competitive level. But good grief, it is a lot of soccer. She couldn't be happier.

Anna tests for her black belt on Saturday! So proud!

Hopefully Thursday will be nicer outside and we'll enjoy a day at the waterpark with the cousins.

Praying~Well, I want to say, cancer sucks. But you all know that, right? So, since complaining is futile, all I have is prayer. For family, for friends.

In the schoolroom~Lots of deep cleaning, lots of planning. Feeling good. And so strange to not plan for Maddy. Maybe I'll share some plans. I also have a new year of art class to lay out, an 8 week Botany course for grade 1-2 and a little boys virtues (imagine Justice League meets the saints, so excited to do this with Johnny this year) club to plan for.

In the kitchen~Need serious crock pot/casserole/teen-can-pull-together menu planning. Falls is busy, but I a still committed to good healthy food on the table every night, even if we eat in shifts.

Living the Liturgy~Ugh, personal prayer. Yeah, that's where I'm at. Working on it. 

Oh yeah, did I mention Carmen gets confirmed and Aggie makes her First Communion this year?

Time to go get the girls. Consider this my feeble attempt to jump back into the blogging.